Maid
Throw down your doctor's drugs,
They're all but heretics; I bring certain remedy
That has been taught, and proved, and never failed.
notes;
undlets: casks
think's: think it is
paradise: with the sexual innuendo (paradise = vagina)
dye...heirs: i.e., by cheating spendthrift country heirs; cf. Michaelmas Term
night-piece: a printing depicting a night scene, but here a "painted" mistress or bedfellow
[fret]: frets (Q). 1) the emotional stress that broke the strings with which the hart was supposed to have been braced, 2) a ring on the fingerboard of a stringed instrument which regulates fingering. Hamlet makes the same pun.
La dildo: a chorus refrain, with the sexual innuendo
a-singing in his head: a reference to the cuckold's horns; cf. Women Beware Women IV.ii.
work: sexual activity
Negatur argumentum: I deny your argument.
peep: pip, degree; pips were the spots on playing cards.
Put on: I.e., put on your hat, which Allwit has taken off in deference.
marrow melts: i.e., by the heat of his jealousy
forfeited lordships: a jibe at the low value of knighthood. Almost immediately after he was crowned, James I began conferring many new knighthoods, considered lavish and undiscriminating by those who felt that these "carpet knights" cheapened the rank.
[Wat]: 1 Boy (Q)
God-den: Good evening
[Nick]: 2 Boy (Q)
legs: bow; cf. The Revenger's Tragedy IV.ii, "makes legs"
heavy: 1) sad, 2) with child
calf: fool; Brissenden sees a subtle irony in mooncalf = false pregnancy
II.i.
[prudent'st]: prudents (Q)
bloods: sexual desires
Life: By God's life; an act of 1606 forbade mentioning the name of God on stage
drinkings abroad: affairs with other women
gear: 1) business, 2) genitals
want: lack
set: match or game, as in tennis
approves: proves
The feast...estate.: cf. The Phoenix II.ii; No Wit, No Help Like a Woman's V.i, Women Beware Women I.iii, III.i.
sing: have sexual intercourse
more words than one to a bargain: more to say about the matter, i.e., they are not used to becoming pregnant after just one sexual encounter.
lay in: brought to bed with child
progress: annual royal visit to various parts of the country
Snaphance: flintlock igniting the touchwood (see note on touchwood)
certificate: here, a certificate of chastity
churchwardens: businessmen appointed to fine those who had not paid their religious obligations and to collect the poor tax, among other duties
in pickle: 1) in reserve, like pickled vegetables, 2) poxed
mutton: whore
nail: 1) a cloth measure of 2", 2) syphilitics' children sometimes were born without nails, hence the Wench's reply
Without my belly: without true desire; cf. Touchwood Junior's "sharp-set stomach" in I.i.
ware: slang for the female genitals, often used by Middleton; cf. The Family of Love II.i; The Roaring Girl II.i, IV.ii; and No Wit, No Help Like a Woman's I.i.
ride: be carted as a whore through the streets to prison
Setting apart: except for
calf's head: fool
strangely: extremely, i.e., I've been looking hard for you.
Cud's foot: a corruption of "God's foot!"; cf. The Phoenix V.i, "Cuds me."
Exit [with Touchwood Senior].: Parker points out the apparent inconsistency between Touchwood Senior not staying to hear about the Kixes's infertility problem and the Maid's entering soon after with the plot for him to cheat Sir Oliver. Although T.S. need not exit until after he learns of the Kixes's problem, the (Q) consistently substitutes "Exit" for "Exeunt."
cut: 1) setback, 2) female genitals, 3) gelding
cannot do withal: cannot help it, with the sexual innuendo
bating: diminishing
Bridewells: Originally a palace given by Edward VI as a workhouse for the poor, Bridewell had degenerated into a prison for prostitutes. Below, an early 19th-century imaginary reconstruction of Bridewell Palace c. 1660, showing the entrance to the Fleet River.
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